Mistakes And Blessings
by pretty in orange
Summary: As Rangiku and Izuru try to recover from Gin leaving, Rangiku unveils a shocking secret that could change both their lives... MatsuKira, T for serious themes and language. May be going on hiatus soon.
1. Rangiku's Discovery

A/N: I actually have a different version of this handwritten somewhere, but I believe that one is going in the trash because something is very wrong with it. I hope this one is better.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach and I make no profit from this.

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><p>Gone.<p>

Gin Ichimaru was gone. He wasn't coming back, probably wouldn't even if he was allowed to. Which he wasn't. A wave of nausea rolled over Rangiku Matsumoto, making her swallow hard. She hated being so upset, but she couldn't help it. Gin had been her everything, her sun, her moon, he had created her laugh and now he was causing her tears. That was just like him.

Rangiku's right hand fisted around her pillow and vaulted it at the wall. "Damn..." She whispered, shivering.

But something else weighed heavily on her mind. It was in a box, a box about the size of a pencil case, hidden in her sock drawer. Captain Unohana had given it to her.

In that box, there was a pregnancy test.

Rangiku knew that if she was, it was Gin's. He had been her first, her last, and her only. Still, she couldn't help feeling like a slut. Here she was, unmarried with a boyfriend gone evil, and there was a strong possibility that she was having her evil boyfriend's baby.

Rangiku shuddered; she still hated thinking of Gin that way. He had saved her when she was young, they had taken care of each other, loved each other, so how could she say he was truly evil?

Another wave of nausea washed over her, and this time she was sent running for the bathroom. It was too strong to hold back, and as she sat on the bathroom tile several minutes later, she tried to think about what she was going to do if she was pregnant.

An abortion was out of the question, for her. She had never really been for it, except in extreme situations, and this wasn't extreme.

Adoption... could she really force herself to give up a baby that was her and her one true love's? And knowing Gin's current situation, who would take the baby?

Leaning against the wall, she buried her face in her hands, not shedding a tear, but dry sobbing anyway.

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><p>"You should visit Rangiku." Shuuhei sighed as he tried to sort his paperwork. "You don't need to hang around here, I can handle this. She's been so out of it since..." Shuuhei trailed off, not wanting to say Izuru's ex-captain's name in front of him either.<p>

"I need distraction, not someone to mope with." Izuru sighed, reaching over to help sort the paperwork. "Besides, she probably doesn't want me around anyway. She hasn't wanted to drink with me in nearly a month."

Shuuhei narrowed his eyes for just a moment before opening his drawer of his desk for a pen. "I think it would be good for you to mope with someone else instead of distracting yourself. You haven't dealt with it."

Izuru didn't say anything, but he stood. "You can handle this?" He made a brief, vague motion to the paperwork.

"Today's your day off. Go." Shuuhei, honestly, was a little annoyed with Izuru. His moping was bringing him down with Izuru, and he couldn't have that when he had paperwork to do.

Izuru walked out and to Rangiku's division, heading for her office, but when he realized she wasn't there, he picked up his pace and hurried to her room.

The door to Rangiku's room was open, but the door to her adjoining bathroom was shut. Izuru tried the knob, but it was locked. "Rangiku?" He asked softly. "Are you alright in there?" The shower wasn't running, he could hear that much, and Rangiku's soft breathing on the other side of the door told him she was alive. Or as alive as a Shinigami could be, but that was beyond the point.

"Rangiku!" Izuru raised his voice a little. "Do you need me to get Captain Unohana?"

The door whipped open and Izuru had to jump to avoid being hit with it. Rangiku buried her face in his shirt, sobbing loud, painful, dry sobs. Pain shot through Izuru's chest as he watched her in such agony.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Izuru asked, blushing slightly at Rangiku being pressed against him. The blush was mostly embarrassment anyway, but he shifted his face to hide it.

"Just..." Rangiku sobbed, a terribly heartbreaking noise, "Don't leave right now."

Izuru's eyebrows drew in with worry. But he wrapped his arms around her, and he stayed. It was the least he could do for a friend in need.

He didn't even notice the pregnancy test on the bathroom counter with "YES" appearing across the digital screen.

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><p>AN: This is actually my first MatsuKira fic, so constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. For my returning readers, thank you for reading something new! For my new readers, thank you for reading, and I hope you continue. So, everyone, what did you think of this first chapter?


	2. Telling The Secret

A/N: This story is taking forever for adds, I know. I'll do my best not to put it on hiatus or abandon it though. Anyway, those who read the first chapter when it went up, and more recently, thank you for coming to the second chapter! You're all dears.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, and I make zero (0) profit from this. Zero as in zilch, nada, none.

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><p>"Rangiku, you're going to have to tell me what's wrong sooner or later." Izuru sighed. He and Rangiku were crumpled on the floor, in the corner furthest from the bathroom. He'd never seen Rangiku like this, not once in all the time he had known her. "Will drinking make you feel better? I can go get something..." It was a low blow, but if it worked it worked, regardless.<p>

"I can't..." Rangiku mumbled, rubbing her eyes. She had finally cried herself out about thirty minutes ago; once the tears had gotten started they hadn't lasted long. Still, the fact that she "couldn't" drink set off red flags in Izuru's mind. He tried to force himself to remember, what kind of conditions couldn't you drink with... Oh. Oh no.

"Rangiku... are you pregnant?" Izuru asked, glancing down at her stomach. Of course she wouldn't be showing yet if she was just figuring out that she was pregnant, but it was an autopilot move.

Rangiku hesitated, and then nodded. "Yes. And it's Gin's for sure." She leaned over and laid her head on his shoulder. "I... I can't have an abortion. I can't make myself do it. And... I don't think I can adopt it out either. It would be like giving up the last piece of him that I have... and I can't." Rangiku seemed truly broken for once in her life. "Help me, Izuru, I don't know what I will be able to do." She looked up at him with pleading eyes.

Well, maybe it was selfish of him, but he wanted her to keep the baby too. He had been rather attached to Gin Ichimaru as well, and it felt almost like a second chance. A little memory of him with a blank slate... But Rangiku was his best friend, tied with Shuuhei, and he wanted her to be happy. "If you want to keep it, I'll help take care of it." Izuru said. Kids didn't like him in general, but this would be different, he was sure. At least, he hoped.

Rangiku's eyes lit up. "Thank you!" She hugged onto him again, causing Izuru's cheeks to light up, bright red. "I just can't give this up, and I can't do it alone... so thank you, thank you so much!" Rangiku smiled brightly at him, despite her tearstained cheeks. "You're a lifesaver, Izuru!"

Izuru realized, too late, that he had probably committed himself to being her boyfriend as well by choosing to be a father to her baby. Somehow, that didn't seem quite as horrible as it should have.

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><p>"What do you mean you need to be put on desk duty?" Toshiro asked, eyeing her over the stacks of paperwork. "Like you ever get anything done at your desk anyway." Toshiro shook his head. "What is your medical reason for wanting to be on desk duty?"<p>

Rangiku looked at Izuru. "I'm pregnant, Captain." Rangiku smiled at Toshiro, trying to remain calm.

A mouthful of ice water, that Toshiro had just taken a drink of, promptly came out of his nose. "You're pregnant?" He asked, drying his desk with a few tissues. "Whose is it?"

Rangiku bit her bottom lip nervously, but Izuru put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "It's Gin Ichimaru's..." Rangiku wondered if she looked as guilty as she felt. She knew she shouldn't feel guilty; she hadn't had sex with Gin knowing that he would go evil. She hadn't known, and she had been deeply, madly in love with him. So why did she feel like the child that had been naughty and had to fess up to her parents?

Toshiro had that look on his face; the one Rangiku had come to know as _"I feel a migraine coming on". _But he quickly regained his composure. "Alright, desk duty it is." Toshiro handed her a sheet of paper. "Fill this out and I'll have someone fill in for you on the field."

Rangiku slunk away, to her room, with Izuru following two steps behind. "Well," Rangiku tried to sound upbeat, but it was hard after that. "At least that's over."

"You need to make an appointment with Unohana." Izuru really hated to burst her bubble, but everyone was going to find out sooner or later. "She needs to figure out how far along you are, get you prenatal vitamins, figure out when to schedule your ultrasounds..."

"Can't we just relax for now?" Rangiku did seem to be finally perking up. "You need to stop worrying so much, Izuru! Izuru's a worrywart!" She teased. Then, she frowned and ran into her room's bathroom, and Izuru could hear her vomiting.

With a slight sigh, he followed her in to hold her hair back. At least she hadn't done it on her Captain's shoes. This time.

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><p>AN: It feels good to have this chapter done finally. It's been driving me crazy (short trip, yes) That I wasn't adding to this at all. Anyway, what'd you think?


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